Putting Safety First

In March, I planned to visit New York. I’d been planning it for half a year. It would have been a return, as I was in New York for a conference, maybe 2007, when I was completing my PhD. It was a trip full of meeting new people, socialising and meeting up with old friends from the States who flew into New York to see me again. It was a good time. But this time, I was going just for me. Because I could. I wanted to fill up my creative cup, feast on cultural events and {BE}. A couple of days before I was due to fly out from Gatwick to New York, I cancelled my trip. I wasn’t ill or injured. I was scared. I consume media from other sources than mainstream media. I’m fond of media that comes from the mouths of people I trust, who happen to be Black also and are critical of mainstream media. I get my media from people who have a deep understanding of anti-Black racism, white supremacy culture and colonialism. So I was hearing things through the grapevine around what was happening to Black people within the USA and those who might be trying to get into the USA. I’ve been hearing things about people being detained without reason. Disappearing. And then I started to hear about white people, people who have been critical about Trump, who have had their phones searched and denied entry into the states. And then didn’t the UK Government issue a travel warning for the USA. Even if it was a mild warning, stating everything would be okay if you followed the rules and guidelines set out by USA for entry, I knew that warning was coming from white bodies who have no idea what it’s like to navigate through this world as a Black woman. So I cancelled my trip to New York out of fear. Fear of my Black female body being detained while trying to enter the states. I was fearful about being detained for no other reason than for disliking Trump. Hell the way this administration are abusing its power, they don’t need a reason to detain, imprison, deport, sack, terminate period anybody. I made the decision to keep my body safe. To not enter any situations where I would be unsafe and subject to the arbitrary will of another. Yeah I’m anger about this. I’m disappointed. I know how privileged I am to be able to make this choice, to have this choice. But this still shouldn’t take away the fact that I felt, along with many others still, unsafe to travel and be within the States right now, in 2025. This shouldn’t be the case that Black and brown bodies are still not free to move and be and live to our fullest, on our own terms. It’s not right. It’s not fair. I know there are people who are worse off than me, who have gone missing in the system and who’s loved ones are searching for them and may never get them back, alive or dead. Safety is paramount for myself, after experiencing periods in my life when I was not safe, when my life was in danger. I know what that fear feels like, when you fear for your life, and I never want to feel that kind of fear again. So if I can do something to mitigate that fear I will do it. Just as I do it for myself, I do it for others. Here at Earth Sea Love, one of our core values is safety. We make sure we do our utmost to make sure when we are with our people, when we journey out together into the British countryside that we are safe and protected. We always reccee where we are going before hand. We risk assess the lace as well as any actiivities we complete while there. We talk with our groups before and after every outing to make sure if they have any concerns or questions we can address them before we get out there. All our guides are outdoor first aid trained and are qualified outdoor leaders. We don’t want anyone being with us to experience any fear of going to this place or that, because that’s not living, and we don’t want to add to anyone’s burden as it is. So yeah I didn’t get to New York this year and probably won’t get there for a few more years to come. And I’m alright with this fact because the sense of relief and happiness I experienced after I made this decision to cancel was immense. I took the decision to be safe and I will keep making those decisions to keep myself safe as well as those I care for safe. And it’s not a case of limiting my life or how I live. It’s a choice between having a life to live and not having a life to live.