oh where have we been …

walking out instead of writing it out

Hello, apologies for absence. We’ve just been busy walking out together in groups instead of sharing what we’ve been doing here. Sometimes I find it difficult to write and share as sometimes I feel as if it can come across as a performance, a rouse to catch your attention and say ‘look at us, aren’t we clever!’. I also find it difficult to perform if it is expected of us also.

I’m thinking here about funders and shareholders and trustees and everyone else who expects a singing and dancing routine because they happen to give you some public money and they want to know what their money paid for. They say it’s because they want you to share all the wonderful things that you’re doing but really it comes down to accountability and judgment. And I’m tired of playing that game especially when it’s never an even playing field.

So this year Earth Sea Love received funding from National Heritage Lottery Fund for the Feel the Green Project, introducing different groups to nature and activities within nature. We partner with Forestry England to deliver a series of outings and experiences for people of the global majority. This is a Black-led project and we’re really proud of this even if it’s not recognised when we’re out and about doing our thing. We’re trying to change perceptions and attitudes around who has a right to be with nature, who is recognised as leaders outdoors ( even though I’m not keen on using the term leader, I’m using it for now), who can just {BE}. Period.

Maybe it’s because I’m tired generally that I’ve feeling a little jaded with it all. We simply just want to {BE} with nature, (re) connect and recognise ourselves. Simple. But usually not that easy or simple. The amount of racism and abuse and unconscious bias we have experienced outside, at times, takes away from an enjoyable experiences. It makes us feel unsafe and uncomfortable and unwelcome. But we persevere. Because we’re worth it. Nature’s worth it.

I didn’t come on here to moan or be ungrateful. As we’re supposed to be grateful for everything right? Count our blessings and give thanks. I do, we do, but that argument can also be used as a way of shutting us up, of keeping us in our place. Scare tactics as to be critical is to risk being cancelled or unfundable ( is that a word? But I do know it is a consequence). And I’m not pointing fingers here or naming names. Feel the Green is going swimmingly well and our time together had been extended for another year.

I’m just calling out the ocean we’re swimming in. The culture we’re making waves within which is probably only feeling a ripple, if that. And yet we go on …